The Relationships of Heaven: Loving Others, Part 2

Introduction: Communing Together in Eternity

Welcome to Communion Sunday! I’m preaching this sermon on what we call Communion Sunday at GraceLife Church. We’ve had this practice for a few years now. Let me explain for those unfamiliar.

The obvious reference is to the activity of communion, also called the Lord’s Supper. It’s a word that means fellowship or sharing. On Communion Sunday, there’s an emphasis on sharing in a few ways. Primarily, we share a common worship setting in an expanded way—more of our children are present (meaning the service is often louder—and that’s okay!), and more of our children’s workers are also present.

We also have an expanded Bible Fellowship¹ time on Communion Sunday. This is a chance for our youth to join adults, because it is a good thing for youth to have their time, but it’s also a dangerous thing for youth to have only youth time. We are to be together as one, older ministering to younger, younger even ministering to older, younger learning from older.

So on Communion Sunday, we have more “shared” space—more shared time, more in common, more in communion. We share on this Sunday and on any given Sunday in anticipation of sharing together in eternity. Eternally shared space, shared time, and shared communion—that’s a lot of sharing for a long time.

We share … on any given Sunday in anticipation of sharing together in eternity.

We conclude our series on the Relationships of Heaven (part of our series on Eternal Judgment), with a focus again on loving each other. Loving others is, of course, part of the Great Command to love God, love oneself, and love others.² And we’ve said that fulfilling this Great Command is the stuff of Heaven. Heaven is a place where everyone loves God, everyone loves self, and everyone loves others perfectly eternally. By contrast, the other place, Hell, is where no one loves God, no one loves himself, and no one loves others.

Within this series on relationships, this is the one sermon with a part 2. Sometimes it takes a little more work to love others, or to convince ourselves that others are lovely, lovable, and worthy of love. But that’s the identifying mark of a disciple in this world. You declare your allegiance to Jesus to the extent that you love one another. Those are the words of Christ Jesus Himself. He said, “By this all [people] will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another” (John 13:35). And I believe it is reasonable to think that declaration will carry on into eternity. We will all love each other in eternity because of who we will become. We will all love each other in Heaven because of how we will reflect God. We’ll be image bearers—restored image bearers; restored not just to the original glory of our creation, but to a transformed glory that was purchased for us by Christ Jesus.

We will share in and reflect His glory. (This is a scandalous thing to say if the Scriptures had not told us this.)

In my last sermon, I said that that transformation will deepen existing relationships, create new relationships, and restore some lost relationships. We’ll take up those categories in this sermon and discuss them more in-depth.

Deepening of Existing Relationships

We begin with our existing relationships because they’re the easiest ones to imagine. And, in fact, in our earliest imaginations of Heaven, even before we believe in Christ, we take aspects of this life that we like and either multiply or intensify those aspects to imagine what Heaven will be like. So, in imagining our relationships in Heaven, we take those relationships that we like on earth and then imagine them being intensified or multiplied in some fashion.

First Thessalonians is a very relational letter by the apostle Paul, who is writing to the early Christians in Thessalonica. He is concerned from the start over the status of their relationship. And here’s how he recalls his time with the people of Thessalonica:

But we proved to be gentle among you, as a nursing mother tenderly cares for her own children. Having so fond an affection for you, we were well-pleased to impart to you not only the gospel of God but also our own lives, because you had become very dear to us.

For you recall, brothers and sisters, our labor and hardship, how working night and day so as not to be a burden to any of you, we proclaimed to you the gospel of God. You are witnesses, and so is God, how devoutly and uprightly and blamelessly we behaved toward you believers; just as you know how we were exhorting and encouraging and imploring each one of you as a father would his own children. (1 Thessalonians 2:7–11)

If you’re familiar with the Scriptures, especially the New Testament and the writings of Paul, you know that Paul doesn’t talk this way with everyone. But he had developed a special bond with the Thessalonians. And I think it’s reasonable to assume that some relationships are going to be dearer to us than others, too. Here is how Paul relates these close relationships to the next life:

But we, brothers and sisters [fellow believers], having been taken away from you for a short while—in person, not in spirit—were all the more eager with great desire to see your face. For we wanted to come to you—I, Paul, more than once—and yet Satan hindered us. For who is our hope or joy or crown of exultation? Is it not even you [Thessalonians], in the presence of our Lord Jesus at His coming? For you are our glory and joy. (1 Thessalonians 2:17–20)

There is a principle I think we can extract from this passage, and that is this: There will be a relational carryover at the revelation of Jesus. There’s going to be a preservation to some extent of those relational bonds that we have created in this life.

There will be a relational carryover at the revelation of Jesus.

For Paul, there is even reward.³ Part of Paul’s reward will be based on the Thessalonians’ conversion and subsequent faithful living. It was Paul’s labor in the Lord that brought that about—of course, working in the power of the Spirit—and he would receive reward for that.

It makes little sense that that would be a one-and-done scenario. Paul isn’t going to be saying, “Oh, yep, there are the Thessalonians. Hey, thanks for the memories. Thanks for this crown reward. It was nice knowing you.” No, Paul will have an eternal relationship, I believe, with the Thessalonians.

Some are bothered by this idea of rewards related to others. Paul is not merely using the Thessalonians for his own happiness, though. He’s not thinking, “I’m going to be so happy when Jesus comes because He’ll see the good work that I’ve done. Thank you for the help, Thessalonians!” Here’s the truth: Paul’s joy in the next life is connected to the fact that these friends will be there as well. Their presence in some way enhances Paul’s experience of eternity. Part of that experience will be an increased love for these friends.

Paul’s joy in the next life is connected to the fact that these friends will be there as well.

Beauty & Union: Aspects of Love That Go Beyond Needs

Now, you might be asking at this point, “What will love look like in Heaven?” In the last sermon, we defined love as willing the good of another. As follow-up, then, you might also be wondering, “If love is willing the good of another, what good could there possibly be to will toward someone who’s already been made perfect?” It’s a legitimate question.

I think we have to adjust our understanding of perfection.

First, we have to strip away earthbound imperfections. There are acts of love that exist in this life that have to do with survival (for example, feeding and clothing those in need). However, there are no such needs in Heaven. Therefore, there are not going to be any acts of love to be performed to fill up what is lacking.

So we ask, “Are there other acts of love that don’t address needs?” And the answer is, of course, yes. We don’t need Rembrandt. We don’t need Shakespeare. We don’t need the songs that we love. But the sharing of beauty is an act of love. And I think it’s possible that we can share that good in the next life. We see something in eternity, in the new heavens and earth created by God, and we say, “Come, look at this; come listen to this; come taste this.”

Furthermore, the other aspect of love, in addition to willing another’s good, is willing union with that person. We will the good, and we will union with the good, and we will union with others. And so union (or communion) is a way of expressing love that will exist in eternity. It is the way of expressing love that has existed eternally within the community of the Trinity.

The sharing of beauty is an act of love. … Union (or communion) is [also] a way of expressing love that will exist in eternity.

So, if there is a moment in this life that you’ve shared with another that you wished would last forever, that moment points to something that is perhaps achievable in the next life. That union (being together), even without reference to any action, would be part of that other aspect of love: the love of affection. We are, after all, satisfied even in this life while just being with the ones whom we love the most.

Relational Carryover: A Summary

Let me try to fit some of these ideas together. In eternity, you will reflect Christ, and I will reflect Christ. But perfection does not demand that we all reflect Him in the same way. It might be that you both behold Christ and reflect Christ in a way that is unique to you. (That would, after all, preserve our individuality. We won’t be glory clones in the next life. You’ll be you, and I’ll be me. There will still be distinction.)

So if we reflect Christ uniquely, I might in eternity say, “You know what? I’m heading over to Bobby’s house to behold the image of Christ in him.” And when I get there, I might say, “Bobby, this is unbelievable.” And then Bobby might be able to say, “Would you like to see Him as I see Him?” And perhaps instead of simply sharing the joy of seeing a friend reflect the glory of Christ, I might get the experience of experiencing Christ just like he does, along with him. Maybe beyond just sharing in the same way, we might share the same experiences on earth over a common joy. (“Hey, look at this! Listen to this.”) There might be the opportunity to share with each other from our souls in such a way that I too could experience whatever it is that you experience. Not just “Hey, look at this,” but “Hey, look at this through my eyes.”

The way in this life in which friends shake hands, or the way in which lovers unite in more intimate ways, are attempts at seeking communion. It may be that we can do that even on the soulish level in eternity.

We could spend a whole sermon series on individual types of relationships—friends, parents, children, extended family, spouses. Let me summarize it this way: There’s no reason to think that established relationships among believers diminish in any way in the next life. They do diminish in this life, don’t they? That brings us to the next point.

There’s no reason to think that established relationships among believers diminish in any way in the next life.

Restoration of Lost Relationships

Loving each other in eternity will mean the restoration of severed relationships. We saw it already in the case of Paul with the Thessalonians; he was separated from them, and Satan hindered him from coming to them, as we read in 1 Thessalonians 2:17–20.

Hard circumstances of this life cause us to lose relationships.

We have disagreements, misunderstandings. We wrong each other.

Acts 15 tells us of one such “sharp disagreement,” resulting in Paul and Silas going one way, Barnabas and Mark another (see verse 39).

You mean even in ministry that happens?

Especially in ministry.

Why?

I think it’s because we seek the highest truth, and therefore we seek the highest form of unity. And it often can be the case that the disunity is in proportion to that high calling.

Paul and Barnabas weren’t quarreling over which gas station snacks to buy on the way to Syria. It was bigger than that. It was the stuff of eternity.

Beyond just disagreements, though, in this life there are instances in which the wrong done against someone is so great that there are some relationships that just must remain severed on earth. Some endings are necessary for the duration of your earthly existence. Heaven somehow restores that. In Heaven, Cain and Abel are loving brothers again.

In this life there are instances in which the wrong done against someone is so great that there are some relationships that just must remain severed on earth.

We also “lose” relationships in this life because the fallen world forces choices of eternal weight.

In the Gospel of Matthew, Jesus is talking to His disciples. We read:

Then Peter said to Him, “Behold, we have left everything and followed You; what then will there be for us?” (Matthew 19:27)

A modern translation might read, “Now look here, Jesus. We’ve left everything and followed You. What will there be for us now?”

A lot of times when Peter opens his mouth, we kind of brace ourselves. But this is a reasonable question. We’ve left everything. What gives? Will there be any return on that calculated risk? Here’s what Jesus says next:

Truly I say to you, that you who have followed Me, in the regeneration when the Son of Man will sit on His glorious throne, you also shall sit upon twelve thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel. And everyone⁴ who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or farms for My name’s sake, will receive many times as much, and will inherit eternal life. (Matthew 19:28–30)

I’m not suggesting that you get up and leave your home and family. But if what is holding you back is temporary loss in the face of eternal gain, then by all means, leave! That’s a hard calculus, isn’t it? Leave what I know and love for what I don’t know and might not love. Call it suffering. Be obedient. Give over to God that which you could have never kept in this life. He shall return it with increase in the life to come.

There’s something else important here: God cares about that which is dear to us. That includes not only family, but also the areas of life we worked hard at building. Notice what else Jesus includes in this list besides family: “farms” (Matthew 19:29). These represent my hard work, my commitment, my joy (“I loved that farm!”).

God cares about that which is dear to us. That includes not only family, but also the areas of life we worked hard at building.

In the movie Gladiator (2000), the main character, Maximus, played by Russell Crowe, rubs his hands in the dirt before fighting—smelling the ground. He smells the soil because at heart he’s a farmer, not a fighter. But the circumstances of life caused him to leave the farm to fight. There’s a scene in which a Roman commander, Quintus, says, “‘Maximus the farmer.’ I still have trouble imagining that.” Maximus—who’d been on the battlefield for years by now—responds, “You know, Quintus, dirt cleans off a lot easier than blood.”

What we see in the movie is a lot of blood.

The script that is your life might include leaving the farm. There might be more blood than dirt. To be obedient to Christ, you might have to leave family, “lose” everything.

Of course, the ultimate severer of relationships in this life is death. It shall be defeated. Better yet, as we’ve already said, it shall be reversed.

And so you will regain the relationships lost as a result of death. You’ll be reunited with friends, reunited with loved ones—family, spouses, parents with children. In some cases, parents will be reunited with children they’ve never even had the chance to know in this life.

Let’s let that serve as our bridge to our third point about the relationships of Heaven.

The ultimate severer of relationships in this life is death. … You will regain the relationships lost as a result of death.

Creation of New Relationships

In Heaven, we will have the opportunity to love each other through the creation of new relationships. The Lord will make all things new, and we will forge relationships with people we never knew in this life.

Time itself won’t even be a barrier. You’re going to have a chance to be friends with Abraham. In Matthew 8:11, Jesus says, “I say to you that many will come from east and west, and recline at the table with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob in the kingdom of heaven.” We see a similar thing in the story of the rich man and Lazarus—Lazarus, the poor, sick beggar, is carried away by the angels into the presence of Abraham (see Luke 16:19–31, especially verse 22).

You’ll be friends with the famous of the faith.

You’ll be friends with the famous of the faith. And one of the great joys I look forward to is this: the famous of the faith will include those this world never recognized. The person you overlook, who serves you in faithful, menial, lowly ways, who serves you in secret ways; the faithful who serves the Lord in mind and heart and spirit, because his body is physically unable to do anything else in this life. The famous of faith may even be those who have never even seen the light of day here on earth—due to a miscarriage or abortion. It seems that the love and justice of God would allow them to live the life they missed, to give great reward, great mercy. And we will all rejoice to see it. We’ll all rejoice to serve under even someone of that rank in the kingdom.

When it comes to new relationships, no one in Heaven is lonely. No one in Heaven is without a friend. No one in heaven is without family.

No one in Heaven is lonely.

Conclusion

Let me conclude with a synthesis of these things: life with each other, loving each other, in deeper, restored new relationships. That’s the story of Scripture, after all—a further, restored, made-new existence.

In Scripture, the first description we have of life with God is a garden. Curiously, the eternal life to come is first described as a city—a city made ready like a bride.

Let me close with this insight from C.S. Lewis, from his work The Problem of Pain. It’s not a bad synopsis of this life. Regarding that city to come, he writes:

Aristotle has told us that a city is a unity of unlikes, and St. Paul that a body is a unity of different members. Heaven is a city, and a Body, because the blessed remain eternally different: a society, because each has something to tell all the others—fresh and ever fresh news of the “My God” whom each finds in Him whom all praise as “Our God.”⁵

Come, see this. Come listen to this. Come, taste this.

See Him as I see Him. Hear Him as I hear Him. Experience Him as I experience Him—“fresh and ever fresh news of the ‘My God’ whom each finds in Him whom all praise as ‘Our God.’”

And we shall love the Lord our God with all our hearts, all our minds, and all our souls. We shall love each other as we love ourselves: Perfectly. More deeply restored. New.

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